


The Measure of a Man

by ThePancakeOverlord



Category: Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson
Genre: Alternate Universe, Authority Figures, Coming of Age, Corporal Punishment, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mentors, Minor Character Death, mentions of corporal punishment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-05-24 03:06:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14946434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePancakeOverlord/pseuds/ThePancakeOverlord
Summary: Worried that Captain Smollett might end up taking his frustrations out on Jim, Dr Livesey takes a greater interest in the boy.





	1. A word, Doctor.

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya, all! Please note that this is a work in progress and warnings may be added along the way as I haven't gotten every little thing planned out yet. 
> 
> Jim's age is never stated in the book but judged by most to be early teens. I found it hard to settle on one because his actions seem to indicate vastly different levels of maturity throughout the story as well as the way people interact with him. Furthermore many of the films seem to place him younger than most people do based on the book (I hear 14 mostly in relation to the book). For the purpose of this story I have made Jim 12 years old as a compromise. This is not a reflection of his age as I view it in the book but simply a fixed age for the purpose of this particular story.

AN: Please read before continuing!

This story is not completed and warnings may be added as it progresses. Be aware of this. Additional warnings will be announced in Author's Notes.

The age of Jim Hawkins is never stated in the book. Many say book-Jim is around 14 - many movies show him a lot younger. For the purposes of this story his age is set as 12 as a sort of compromise.

This storry may contain references of - or non-graphic depictions of: Death, violence, corporal punishment, alcohol use, angst and non-specified mental issues. If you do not approve of this, do not continue reading.

Treasure Island is neither written nor set in the modern era. I try to reflect this but I am not a native English-speaker so bear with me and I'll do the best I can. ^_^ Thanks for reading this!

"I have said what I have to say and let that be the end of it."

The doctor stuffed his pipe patiently while he gave all the appearance of carefully considering the captain's words. Captain Smollett huffed either in agreement with himself or annoyance with the doctor but Livesey had no idea which. It was a small room which had been converted to the ship's surgery and though they were on either side of the table Dr Livesey could smell the combination of tobacco and salt - as well as the faint scent oriental perfume stealthily emanating from Smollett's handkerchief which at first had seemed so striking about the captain but which Livesey had become accustomed to after setting sail with the Hispaniola.

"Captain Smollett," the doctor began, carefully weighing his words. But the meaning he was about to communicate was clear enough and the captain exhaled and looked away from the doctor. Smollett stepped over to the small window which was the only source of light in the room but the oil lamps. There he stood, silently smoking and blowing the smoke out through the window, and Livesey was not so blind as to not realize that this was meant to give him room to reconsider. The doctor could not help but consider it all foolish.

"I truly do not believe there is any cause for alarm," he finally said.

"I will not tolerate laziness on any ship under my command, doctor," the captain replied, turning once again to face Livesey and casting his face partly into the shadows. "Hawkins is acting ship's boy - then he is under my command."

"Yes, well," Livesey began, pausing between attempts at lighting his pipe.

"I demand discipline," the captain interrupted. "I have already made be reservations about the crew clear..."

Now it was Livesey's turn to interrupt, though he was loathed to do so. It was not appropriate between gentlemen after all.

"You cannot mean to suggest... Captain, Hawkins is as honest a boy as ever there was!" In fact, Hawkins had roved more trustworthy already than the squire though Livesey of course did not mention that. He was however as disappointed as the Smollett in Trelawney and the man's inability to keep a secret - even more so because Livesey had seen it coming before they even made for Bristol.

"I mean to suggest no such thing. You say the boy is trustworthy - I shall believe it, but I will not have a ship's boy hanging around the kitchen all day. The men I can put to work whether they like it or not. Hawkins... With discipline I could make a proper man of him yet - and fitting for one sailing under King George's colors. It is a captain's authority."

Smollett's hard eyes shone with determination. The doctor understood his full meaning but neglected to answer for some time as he lit his pipe. The squire and himself had taken to calling upon Hawkins from time to time - and if Livesey had to admit it, he had done so often enough when Smollett's patience was spent and he began scolding the boy for chatting. Evidently it had not gone unnoticed. They owed it to Hawkins to bring him along. Trelawney and himself had both felt that. It was after all Jim Hawkins who had brought the map. It was the bravery of him and his mother which made all this possible. He felt for the boy - knowing his loss so well.

"He is but a boy," said Livesey, after a thoughtful puff. "He is recently fatherless. I attended to Mr Hawkins personally." The title of ship's boy had really been at once both a reason to bring the boy along and an opportunity for Hawkins to learn something as they travelled. To Livesey and Trelawney this was an adventure though the the doctor was seemingly more aware of the dangers than his friend. To the boy it was meant to be the same. However, he could hardly expect Smollett to be sympathetic. Jim Hawkins worked hard as it was.

"It's that Silver," continued the captain as he had no comment to make upon Hawkins' personal affairs. "He hangs around him constantly."

"Silver is a good man," replied Dr Livesey. He approved of that sailor alone for he seemed to have some manners about him. He was well aware of his position and why this was being discussed with him and not Smollett's employer. His own shirts had by now taken one the scent of the sea though he was still very much an oddity in these surrounding unlike Smollett whose face seemed to have drunk up years of sea and battle for even though Livesey could not point out many more indicators than the slightly weathered face and the complexion being that of a man who spent more time outdoors than the average gentleman there was still a certain way about him. Indeed there was for every member of the crew though in a different way from the captain. They all carried a certain air of the oceans about them - one which Livesey knew he lacked himself.

"So it would seem," replied Smollett though he made no appearance of meaning what he said and Livesey, who knew perfectly well that the captain trusted not a single man in the crew but Silver, said nothing.

"I will talk to the boy," the doctor offered as the captain tapped his pipe on the windowsill.

"This is not an acceptable way of running a ship doctor. In my day it was a flogging - still is, where it matters," muttered the captain bitterly.

Livesey's lips were pressed together in the thin line as the doctor's face suddenly took on a hardness which was reserved for particular occasions and his work as a magistrate. He neglected the pipe in his hand entirely and starred at the other man.

"You wish me to be plain sir - I shall," said he and Smollett in turn returned his full attention to him. "Young Hawkins may well be inexperienced with both the ways of a ship and the captain's daughter and an inconvenience it may be, but while he is here and away from his mother - Mr Trelawney and myself are responsible for him. And as I am most acquainted with the family I consider myself the one who should have to answer to Mrs Hawkins should I not return her son to her just as he was."

He spoke sharply but not without restraint. He was as aware as any of the party which made up those not in the general crew that Smollett was displeased with having to keep the crew appeased as best he could while still running the ship effectively and it was hard for him to maintain a good standing when the squire saw fit to spoil the crew with apples and rum at any occasion for celebration. Livesey would not in spite of this condone that Smollett let Jim Hawkins suffer under his rule is place of the crew and more importantly the squire.

"I take it you mean to suggest I cannot command my own ship's boy?" replied the captain stoically.

"I mean to suggest, captain, that I do not approve of your methods and I would have expected greater patience from you for a boy in his position," doctor Livesey corrected him. "Command as you please."

"You speak of responsibility. What is a man without honor and discipline," said Smollett in a tone with had had many a sailor cowering before but it made no dent in Livesey who had faced as many horrors by land as Smollett had at sea. In the army there was a little room for laziness as Smollett described in the navy but this was neither. This was the ship Hispaniola - sailing for the promise of treasure by the will of Trelawney and under the command of captain Smollett.

"As I said, captain, I will keep an eye on Hawkins," Livesey stated. As far as he was concerned the boy was entitled to a rest one in a while whether it was talking to Silver or himself.

"Then be it on your head, doctor," Smollett replied with some agitation and civil unveiled respect for the determination of the doctor even if they were not in agreement. Livesey's features softened. He respected the captain but he would not stand for him taking out his agitation upon poor Jim Hawkins - even if Livesey sincerely doubted the captain would ever have laid a hand on the child. The doctor was keen that this journey should be a pleasant one for their cabin boy and that would surely not come from having Smollett scolding him at every turn. Never the less, it might not be entirely out of the way should Livesey pay a little closer attention to Hawkins.

The doctor nodded to the other man and watched as the captain marched out of the small surgery in what anyone would consider his usual intimidating fashion. Livesey relit his pipe which had by now ceased to burn. As he took a few puffs he ran his fingers over the small storage of jars which had been neatly stocked there in the cabinet and which might easily rival the collection in the kitchen though the purpose differed. He was unsure what to make of it. As far as he was concerned the captain was overly anxious and the squire too easy. As for Hawkins, he had little idea of his thoughts.

* * *

It was a strange sort of smell, this reddish powder. Jim inhaled again and came to regret it when he managed to inhale some of it. His eyes watered and he would have sneezed into the jar had to his companion snatched the small jar from his hand first.

"Watch it there, lad," said Silver with some amusement.

"What's that?" Asked the boy, coughing slightly.

Silver did not answer and instead grumbled a little to himself as he put some of it in the stew. Jim didn't mind either way for he had already forgotten how question and was not watching the one-legged man stirring the pot.

"There he goes again," said Jim suddenly when they heard the slightly muffled but sharp sound of Captain Smollett's voice which travelled to them from the deck both through the ceiling and the window at the same time. The boy grimaced slightly for so far the only draw back to the voyage being the captain who Jim was not fond of even if he trusted him. Never had he worked as much at the inn.

"Ah, ye'll see the capt'n's only doing what's best and all," said Silver though Jim thought he perceived a sparkle in his eyes.

Jim shuddered. Every time Long John was telling him a particularly interesting tale the captain would be there commanding them both to get to work. The captain reminded Jim more of his old schoolmaster than of seafaring adventurers as he imagined them. He didn't understand how Long John could agree with the likes of him. Indeed, Jim was certain Long John Silver could sail any ship the captain could. Of course it wasn't long until a familiar call rang out:

"Hawkins? Hawkins!"

Jim sighed. Couldn't he just stay and help Long John? Well, a rotten lot it was!

"Jim, matey," said Long John as he turned around to look at him. "How's about I tell ye the rest about Portugal later? Ye'd better hurry along - and if ye see Hands tell him from me to pay up."

He nodded enthusiastically although Jim had no intention of approaching any of the lot - and not simply because he barely knew one from the other yet but also because he was uneasy around the crew when Silver was not with him. The memories of his first encounters with seafaring men were still too fresh in his mind for Jim to completely relax in their company and they lacked the good nature of Long John all. He expressed his enthusiasm and left the the kitchen, hearing an encouraging 'good lad' from Long John.

"I suspected as much," said Smollett evenly as Jim emerged onto the deck. But the captain made no inquiries as to where Jim had been and Jim was glad of it. He did not want to get Mr Silver into trouble with the captain after all. The captain pointed to the coils of rope Jim had been tasked with moving not half an hour earlier. He had not moved more than two before a discussion between Long John and a crewman had so distracted him that before long he had abandoned the task completely. Jim scraped his soles on the deck. He knew what manner of look there was bound to be in the captain's eyes and was determined not to reveal his own position. For if he had looked up captain Smollett would have seen no remorse but only the mounting agitation Jim felt.

"Right away, sir," Jim said in as clear a voice as he could for that was the way the crew replied - whenever they were feeling the urge to be almost polite. But he could not manage as cheerful a response as Silver gave frequently.

He lifted up a coil of rope and, upon placing it over his shoulder, began carrying it to its destination. The grown men aboard the Hispaniola could easily carry two or more but Jim had to settle for one at the time. The sun was shining and the men were singing a song while they worked that sounded familiar to Jim in melody although he could barely understand anything but the chorus seeing as the the men were not all keeping the rhythm and he suspected not all of it could be the king's English.

When he had dragged away a second coil and needed only another three trips to complete the task, he paused. It was awfully warm considering their location as there was little to no wind that day and the ship floated lazily.

"I reckon it'll blow by sundown," said one of the men to the other somewhere behind him as Jim rested his arms upon the railing and looked out to sea in the hopes of spotting any marine life.

"You wouldn't know if it blew your bones away," called another who had been with the singing party.

It blew often at the inn, Jim thought. For the first time in days his mind wandered to the home he had left behind. There had been too much excitement and labor on board to allow it previously. He thought of the boy who stayed there now with his mother and the hurt he had felt upon seeing him resurfaced. The replacement was a high price to pay for becoming a real seafaring adventurer, that Jim knew. Perhaps that was what irked him about it all. His resentment of his mother's apprentice had been tempered by the knowledge that before long he would be more than an inn owner's son. He would be a real man who had seen the world and he might be rich to boot. Perhaps he could be like Mr Silver. But there had been little of that as of yet. The squire, the doctor and the captain simply discussed their concerns and Jim was left to work quite like at home but harder. It made him impatient.

"Hawkins!"

The boy spun around and sure enough captain Smollett stood across the deck with a very displeased look about him. He set his course for Jim with determined steps but did not make it halfway across the deck before another voice called out - this time from the door which lead in and below.

"Friend Jim!" Called the doctor quite cheerfully from the doorway. "Might I have a word? I am afraid I need your assistance."

Well, Jim didn't need telling twice and he was quite grateful to the doctor for sparing him the wrath of the captain so without a moment's hesitation and a small glance at captain Smollett he cried: "Yes, doctor! Right away!" And so hurried in the doctor's direction.


	2. Mr Arrow enters, stage left.

There was something reassuring yet also mundane about the doctor, thought Jim. Squire Trelawney and the captain both had a look or way about them which made it plain to Jim that they had been about. But the doctor as he stood there in his white powder, quietly turning the pages of one of his medical books, looked so familiar to Jim and filled him with a sense of calm. Where it not because Jim had witnessed the doctor stare down the old sea-dog at the Admiral Benbow he might think that a man with Dr Livesey's kind appearance and neat dress would be an old soldier.

"Ah, here it is! Just the page I was searching for," cried the doctor enthusiastically and shook Jim out of his silent contemplation.

The boy strained his neck to peek at the page from his position by the door but could not make heads or tails of the chart and words he saw there.

"Dr Livesey, sir!" He piped.

"Hmm? Oh, of course Jim!" Replied the doctor, looking up from the book with a smile. "Come by my side, young man, and I shall show you what I am about. Just so! Now you will see this chart here? This is a dosage chart."

Jim eyed the numbers but the words surrounding it all were not King George's English or Jim was Duke of Devonshire. The doctor perceived as much and it amused him to see the boy so keen to appear as though he was following it all when the book was so full of Latin that there might as well be no English in it at all. The boy's hair was not so neatly combed now and his hat was crooked upon his head. Livesey noted this and imagined the boy was taken by the roughness in appearance of the men and he could not blame the child for that even if he himself went to greater lengths to preserve a gentlemanly appearance.

"Now here are my thoughts, Jim, for I see you there wondering: I believe in being prepared. As such I would have good use of a bright boy to help measuring. I dare say that Mr Arrow may need my assistance before long."

At that Jim looked up with a little alarm for he had already so little time in the day with the captain and his disgust of idleness. If he was to aid the doctor as well he would have no time but just a few scattered moments in the kitchen.

"But doctor..." Began Jim with a rather more nervous tone than he had hoped for he certainly did not mean to come across ungrateful to either the doctor or the squire to whom he owed the opportunity to see all this.

"Now Jim," replied Livesey when the pause made by Jim grew long enough that he did not consider it much of an interruption. He gave the young man a pointed look which was meant to urge him to hear Livesey out. Upon seeing in Jim's expression that it was taken more as a reproof than a suggestion, the doctor's own expression softened deliberately before turned and swiftly picked a bottle off the top shelf of the cabinet. He had to consider his words carefully. If he knew Jim Hawkins right he would take a reduction of his duties as much as doubt of his abilities as a relief.

"Captain Smollett is very keen to have us well on our way hastily. And as commendable as that is I suspect I will need this soon enough to calm the nerves that are sacrificed," said Livesey glancing briefly at the label before setting it back. His words were in uncomfortable ground between saying what he thought and what he thought proper.

It was all Jim could do not to grimace slightly at the praise Dr Livesey was giving the captain for as far as he was concerned it was the captain who needed calming but he did not voice as much, knowing the doctor would surely disapprove.

"But," said the doctor and raised his index finger to underline the word. "If Mr Arrow did half what was expected of him I dare say we'd be less burdened."

At that the doctor shook his head and Jim had heard enough of the captain and the doctor accusing the first mate of drunkenness to know the true meaning exasperation of the doctor to whom blatant negligence of one's own health seemed to be a serious offense.

"Captain Smollett shan't miss you for an hour or so of your time on daily duty."

"Oh," said Jim. So he would not have less time to himself but less time under the captain's eye and that he could not object to. "Well, I should be happy to be of service, doctor! For certain I would!"

Dr Livesey nodded and lightly patted the boy's shoulder before letting it rest there.

"You're as reliable a young man as ever there was, friend Jim," said the doctor cheerfully as he mentally noted that he would now be required to find some task to occupy the boy with for half an hour to an hour a day - for measuring medication would not serve that purpose as that was a task he could have easily enough managed himself.

"You may come after lunch. I think Mr Silver can spare you best there." He had after all no intention of limiting the time Jim spent assisting the cook with the crates for there was a man who seemed talented in keeping people in good spirits including himself. And Livesey was fond of the man himself as he seemed to be an unusually pleasant sailor.

"Yes, sir!" Replied Jim and he was grateful indeed. The doctor smiled at him and removed his hand from Jim's should as he reached the book to close it. The dimness of the room seemed made the heat and sun of the deck seem tempting enough. The doctor, who was the paler of the leading party, seemed almost unnatural in this environment as the contrast between his dark eyes and brows and white powder was enhanced.

"In the mean time," said the doctor. "You had best keep yourself busy and you shall report to me tomorrow." He studied the boy before him. He admired the courage the boy had shown already - even if it could be considered foolish to some extend. That same young man took his leave with a cheerful 'Yes, doctor!' and Livesey gestured him out with a knowing smile only just noticeable upon his lips. With a sigh he heard Smollett's commanding voice ring out again: "Mr Arrow, to the helm at once!"

* * *

"Ah Jim! And where have ye been off to, I wonder?"

John Silver was seated with three other hands as Jim stumbled out onto the deck. It had only been two days and already he saw the benefit of the doctor's need of him for it was a welcomed time away from the deck even if he could not help but feel as though every minute there in the dim surgery was him missing out on some excitement that was bound to occur in his absence. He liked the doctor but he had little interest in scales and books where there was world to explore above. Besides Jim felt he was not help at the second visit Dr Livesey had simply set him copy Latin names from the books onto labels - once in a while remarking upon his penmanship and told him when it needed to be be redone. As such it was a slow you indeed.

"I've been to see the doctor, Mr Silver!" replied he.

"The doctor!" Cried Long John at a volume which startled the man beside him. "There's a fine physician if ever there was one! I have a nose for such thing, I tell ya Jim, a nose! For I've seen too many of the sort for any man in my time. And Doctor Livesey is as fine as they come, you may lay to that. But tell me, Jim, you ain't fallen ill now are ye?"

"Why, no!" Smiled Jim and took a seat next to Silver as the latter moved over to make room on the crate he occupied. "But he puts me to work and the like."

A grunt was heard from the man on Silver's other side

"What say ye, Anderson?" Remarked Long John. But the other made no father comment and instead rose to get a spoonful of water. "Well Jim, says I," continued Silver. "You're as smart a lad as ever there was and reminding me of meself at that age. I sailed then with Captain Archer - and the best among men he was too. He'd be proud of the likes of ye, lad! 'Hard work and nerve! That's the way for an English lad' he'd say - upon me word!"

Silver laughed and the man with them laughed along with him. Jim felt a flutter in his chest at such praise though it was hard for him to imagine Long John as anything but an old seafaring man - such as he was.

"Did you fight in the navy then?" Jim asked with a great deal of excitement despite knowing in the back of his mind that many boys in the navy probably mainly did all the odd jobs such as he was currently.

"To be sure!" Silver confirmed and made an enthusiastic and rather imperfect salute.

"We're as good as by now," grumbled the one Long John had called Anderson as he returned from his quest for water. The comment did not sit well with Silver and it was a surprise to Jim who did not truly know what was meant by it.

"Job Anderson!" He cried. "Were it not known to me that ye're jesting - I'd say ye're a son of a Dutchman!"

He glanced over at Jim who was looking from one man to the other. This Anderson fellow did not look to type to jest but none the less he must have been for he sat down again without objecting to what Silver had said.

"Ah, 'tis a fine ship indeed and I'd drink to that," concluded Silver and the two men besides him grumbled a 'hear, hear'. The mere word 'drink' must have alerted Mr Arrow for in the next moment the flushed first mate stood before them looking as miserable as he generally did when he was sober.

"Mr Arrow, sir!" Said Jim and jumped to his feet in respect. Long John followed him but the other hands stayed put where they were. While Mr Arrow had not given him a single order so far, the doctor's words from the other day were still in Jim's mind and he reckoned it was best not to chance Captain Smollett seeing him not pay proper respect to a superior - even if it was Mr Arrow.

"Silver!" Said Arrow and the paused to lean against the railing. He then for a moment looked quite ill and Jim wondered if they would be needing to fetch Dr Livesey. Fortunately the man kept his lunch down well enough.

"Mr Arrow," piped Jim and rushed by the man's side. "Are you unwell?"

They had had a number of guests at the Admiral Benbow who could not hold their liquor or were taken ill during their stay. Jim done his best to assist his father then with either putting them to bed or helping them until the doctor could be called for. But ever since the deaths of first his father and then the old seafaring man he had gotten a terrible fear of sickness in others. The feeling of helplessness was still sitting in his chest like a lump of icy steel and even if it were Mr Arrow whom Jim did not have many fond thoughts of - he did not want to experience it all over again.

"Shall I fetch Dr Livesey, sir?" The words flew out of Jim so fast it was barely a sentence.

"What? Unhand me, boy! Unhand me I say!" Roared Mr Arrow and gestured wildly, almost losing his balance despite the fact that Jim had not touched him. It still cause Jim to retreat in sudden jerk. He might have stumbled had Long John not supported him a little with his free arm. Joe Anderson and the other hand ignored the first mate still but did glance at him briefly at the shout.

"Mr Arrow! What is this noise? Tell me what you're about!" Demanded the captain, who, Jim thought might have an ability to simply show up where he was least wanted. Of course the reason for that was the confined space in which they found themselves. Mr Arrow suddenly adopted the look of schoolboy in trouble. Captain Smollett came to a halt right by and Jim was glad he was the not for once the person of interest.

"Well?" Said the captain. And then when Mr Arrow made no immediate response: "By heaven, man! Are you drunk?" The captain and the doctor had taken it in turns to reproach the first mate for just that so far but just as he had denied it then so he would now by the looks of it.

"Begging yer pardon and such, captain!" Said Long John. "But young Hawkins here was only wondering whether Mr Arrow's in a bad way as the saying goes and whether we were to fetch the good doctor, sir, if you don't mind me observing as much."

"Ah, Silver..." Began the captain but whatever he continued to say, Jim did not hear for just then Mr Arrow grumbled:

"I have touched a drop, I haven't, as long as I live! I am as fit as can be - to the devil with you and the doctor too!" He gestured to Jim as he spoke and Jim had to resist the urge to hide behind Silver. It reminded him of that old sea-dog who was the cause of it all. He had faced deadly buccaneers and had no excuse to be unnerved by Mr Arrows outburst and unreliable nature. The last thing he wanted was to appear scared.

No one within earshot believed such a declaration as the first mate had just made but clearly the captain was not in the mood to discuss it.

"Arrow, if you are too fit to see the doctor and more importantly fit to stand around discussing as much then you are fit to get back to work - that goes for the rest of you too. The wind is back and we are making good speed. Silver, Hawkins! Have you not business in the kitchens?!"

It was truly not a question and Jim was not sorry to get back to work if it would be in Long John's company. As he hurried off after Mr Silver he noted to he could not help but be a little glad that at the very least the captain thought much less of Arrow than of Jim. Even so it was hard not to wish the oafish and unpleasant man a mile a way. But he should be sorry for thinking it as the next morning Mr Arrow had disappeared and the doctor might find himself needed before long regardless.


	3. Our secret.

"Well, Livesey, if that isn't just rotten luck!" 

The squire declared this loudly with some outrage for it was he who had engaged Mr Arrow and he who had face to lose to the captain - even if it was upon Mr Silver's recommendation. The captain had already expressed his opinion on Mr Trelawney's sense of judgement in that matter. That same man sat at the table studying a map. Captain Smollett had shown little surprise at the loss of Mr Arrow though he had said plenty of his incompetence and the nuisance of it all. 

"The poor fellow must have fallen overboard. The barrel fever is a cruel affliction," said the doctor softly and shook his head. He too was not so surprised though he had not assumed the bottle would take Arrow in such a swift and sudden manner. 

"That was Silver's take as well," replied the squire. 

There sounded a 'hmm' from the captain though Mr Trelawney managed not to comment with more than an agitated look in his direction. 

"I cannot fathom how the man got the cursed drink! The stores have been locked all this time!" said the doctor as he paced the length of the room. He was unnerved by this but the tension between his friend and the captain and the fact that he could not currently smoke made him unable to settle down.

What followed was a longer and increasingly winded speech of the squire's as he alternated between grumbling over the first mate's demise and the general state of England where sailors 'were not what they used to be'. The captain through all of this paid him no mind but sat, as he had throughout this, studying the charts. It was not simply the end of Mr Arrow that bothered the doctor - for as he saw it the man had no one but himself to blame even if Livesey did feel for him. No, it was the uncertainty of how this might affect the tempers of the two men in the room with him who so far had taken a distinct dislike of each other - even if the squire was rather more invested in it. 

"My dear friend," said Livesey at last, when he could bear the squire's talk no longer. "We must not dwell too long on this. I, for one, intend to smoke. There is little help I can be to poor Arrow now." He was excused by the squire and took his leave retiring to his surgery.

All the while he was considering the state of affairs and what had caused them. They had had no easy start of it that was plain to anyone. There had been too much talk on the squire's part and not nearly enough consulting with Smollett. Had the captain had the pick of his crew Mr Arrow might have rested in an inn rather than the sea. But there was nothing to be done for it. The doctor stuffed his pipe pensively and sat there still, lighting the pipe, listening to the shouts and chatter from the deck and smelling the combination of salt, seaweed and Silver's cooking.

* * *

Some days had passed and the dip in morale among the men - if there had been much of one, had disappeared. Jim had been shocked but if he was forced to admit it he did not miss the first mate. Still, it had unnerved him greatly to have a man he had wished gone disappear and he had suffered for it each night with night terrors. At night the sound of the sea magnified and became towering waves in Jim's dreams. They threatened to swallow him if he got too close but on the deck where safety lay stood Mr Arrow growling, sneering and reaching for Jim. The fear shook him awake before the ghost could touch him and the boy lay shivering in the dark, listening to the sound of the older men snoring.

In the daytime he was tired and his eyes were aching from the lack of sleep. Therefore it was unfortunate that the captain's regime remained equally brutal - and Jim had it worse for he was not included in the frequent grog-rations going around and so had nothing to soften the situation. 

"Jim! Ahoy there!" 

The boy in question started. He looked up at Long John who was looking at him over his shoulder from his position by the stove. 

"Give us a hand with that there jug, matey," the cook said with a crooked smile. 

He quickly put away the small crate he had been in the process of bringing in before he had gotten lost in his own thoughts. He rubbed his eyes and looked around for the jug in question. It was a small brass jug filled with broth and Jim dutifully retrieved it for the cook. 

"Where's yer tongue there, Jim?" Exclaimed Mr Silver as he accepted and poured in the broth. 

Jim might have argued that he never did say much in Long John's company as he much preferred to listen to the ship's cook than speak - only resigning to ask questions, but he did not as he was indeed not paying attention and so had no such explanation to give. 

"I just... Tired is all, Mr Silver," said he.

"Ah, we'll there ain't nothing like hard-earned slumber and knowing one's done one's duty, I say."

Jim managed a smile at the merry sailor beside him as he, just as he often did, looked to Jim for his approval of what was said. 

"Come now, Jim! We're mates aren't we? Tell old Long John what's troubling ye - for troubled ye are, like uneasy sea."

Jim shrugged and wondered whether he should share with Silver. He was quite keen to appear as grown and capable as he could - to Silver and the other hands especially, and being upset by dreams was something small children did. 

"Let me ye a tale," continued Long John. "I knew a lad when I sailed under the immortal Hawke... What was his name? Ah... Bill! Bill, it was to be sure! He was a stout young hemp, was Bill! Well, he was in the rigging and he was drawing straws... Fell asleep right there in the ropes."

Jim gasped. He knew how high up the men went. He, himself, had not gone all the way up yet but then he had no job there and it was an awfully long way down. 

"Bless my soul! Was he much hurt?!" Cried the boy.

For Jim could not imagine anyone living to tell the tale had they fallen from such heights. 

"Ah, not by that, lad, no. He was lucky, was Bill, for Long John here was right behind him and shook him 'fore he could tumble. But the officers was not best pleased with him, ye may lay to that." And Silver roared with laughter. Jim did not understand what was so amusing. To have been so close to death! But he trusted that Long John knew better for he had been there. And so Jim could not help but smile and feel a little better in his turn.

"Alright but... Promise you won't tell anyone? Promise?" Asked Jim and simultaneously took a whiff of the soup being prepared. 

"Cross me heart!" Declared the cook with passion.

"It's that I can't sleep, Mr Silver. I have these awful terrors and I... I think it's because of Mr Arrow," explained Jim with his head bowed and his cheeks blushing. 

There was a short moment's silence and that was enough time to make Jim really nervous but Long John soon alleviated his concerns.

"Jim! I am sorry to hear that for certain! 'Tis a dreadful business. Were you much fond of Mr Arrow, lad?"

At that Jim shook his head. "Oh, no! Not at all! That is to say..."

But he did not need to explain himself further for Long John patted him roughly on the shoulder and grinned widely, his serious tone from just before gone. 

"I understand, matey! To be sure I do!"

"But I dream about it. What happened I mean... The day before." 

Silver wobbled slightly and withdrew his hand to support himself as he gave a loud 'hmm'. And then, just as an idea appeared to strike him, he smacked the palm of his hand on the table by the stove and exclaimed:

"By Drake himself, Jim! I've got it!" And then, much to Jim's confusion the old man before the mast made his way to the shelves and began searching among them for something. From behind a jar of currants he withdrew a small sack-cloth bag that really was not so much larger than a pouch. 

"Here! Here, Jim! Ye'll see!" Continued the man and made his way back over to the table. As he did so, Jim was alerted by a hissing sound and quickly turned and almost upon reflex stirred the violently bubbling soup. Silver left the bag on the table and moved over to take the pot of the stove which he managed easily due to his rather impressive strength for a man who had not long ago kept a tavern.

"Ah, Jim, quick on the spot there. Smart as paint as I've always said. Now look here!"

The two of them turned to the bag and Long John began rummaging through it. To Jim it sounded as though several metal objects were in there and he suspected Long John might be keeping some money close by him for any eventuality. Then a look of excitement upon the man's face told the boy that he had found what he was searching for. A small knife was drawn from the bag and lain upon the table. It had a white handle which looked to be some manner of bone and the blade was covered by a leather sheath. Jim stared at it with wonder and astonishment. 

"This here was given to me off of Lisbon," said Silver in lowered yet excited voice as if sharing as secret with Jim and the cabin boy leaned closer in response.

"Pretty little thing to be sure. Of course I kept it with me out of emotion - having no use for it." 

And Long John took off the leather sheath to reveal a short but strong looking blade. It was double edge and looking nothing like the knifes generally carried by the sailors for cutting robes. The cook handed the knife to Jim, handle first.

"Now, ye'll be careful with this here little thing," cautioned he in a playful manner. "And I reckon it'll keep away even the spirits. There ye go!"

"Oh my!" Said Jim and looked at the knife in his hand. It looked awfully sharp indeed and he certainly felt safer with it though granted, he did not think through how it would help against ghosts and night terrors. "Thank you, Mr Silver!"

"Long John, matey! Now ye keep that close by but don't go showing that off to the gentlemen anytime soon. That's not regulation or whatever it's called but I had not the heart to leave it behind. Ye see, it belonged to an old mate of mine and..."

"I promise I will take ever so good care of it, Mr... Long John," piped Jim, interrupting Silver's tale. 

"To be sure ye will," grinned Long John and he handed over the sheath in the same breath. "There ye go, yers to keep, matey!"

"To keep?!" Exclaimed the boy. He had never been given such a thing before and his heart swelled with pride that Silver would trust such a treasure to him. 

"Sure, matey!" Long John smiled warmly. "And that'll be our secret, won't it?"

"Certain it will, Long John!" Promised Jim enthusiastically. In response the cook rather playfully nudged him and then lifted the pot back on the stove. Jim looked at the treasure in his hand and felt so much braver with it. Then his sense returned to him and he quickly stuffed the knife inside his shirt. 

"And I won't ever say a word to the captain - even if he makes me walk the plank!" 

"Captain Smollett is an honorable man. He won't do such things," promised the cook. "But as it were... Still best not to tell him, eh?"

Jim nodded knowingly. He didn't like the captain and he knew how every little mistake seemed to displease the man beyond reason.

* * *

Indeed that night, for the first time since the disappearance of Mr Arrow, Jim slept soundly. And it was a good thing too for the next day the sun shone brightly from early morning and work upon the deck was excessively hot - so hot in fact, that even a few of the rugged hands complained of it amongst themselves. Whenever Jim saw Long John and could catch his eye the two of them shared a knowing look. 

At lunch time Mr Silver jumped around cheerfully and his high spirits greatly uplifted the crew - or rather that and the food. And during lunch the crew broke out in song lead by Andersson and Silver. Even the squire attempted to join in despite knowing none of the words before he retreated to his own meal with the captain and the doctor with a wide smile to show for it. 

But the meal would come to an end and sure enough the captain was there on time to command everyone back to their post. Jim was about to make his way to the surgery to assist the doctor as he had done for up to an hour a day for a little while now. 

"Hawkins! On deck!" Commanded the captain and stopped Jim in his tracks. "There! Help O'Brien and Johnson with the rigging!"

"But, sir!" Jim protested. It was tedious work the doctor put him to but it was a welcomed break from the hard work on deck and the watchful eye of the captain.

"I've told the doctor you're remaining today. Now get to to it!" Replied the captain as his brow furrowed in annoyance. "To work, boy!" He commanded firmly. 

It seemed there was nothing for it and it was not in the best of moods that Jim dragged his feet over to Dick Johnson. O'Brien he did not know and besides the man had long since taken off into the rigging. Johnson had his foot in it already.

"Ay, Hawkins! Here!" Called Dick and tossed Jim a roll of rope while he held on to the end and started climbing. 

Jim gasped as the heavy pile of rope landed in his arms but watched dutifully as Johnson ascended with the other end. It was so awfully high up they all went and they crawled like spider heading for a fly and not at all as if they might any moment fall to their deaths. Johnson did not fall but still things did not go as planned when a gust of wind caused his to let go of the rope just as he reached the top and the rope end fell down and landed on the deck with a loud twack. 

"Hawkins! Oy, boy!" Said Dick who himself was one of the younger men in the crew. "Get that up here will you?"

It was not really a request but even so Jim gulped and debated arguing against it but captain Smollett was standing nearby and he did not want to attract his attention. He took a deep breath and took the end of the rope, leaving the rest behind on the deck as he tryingly grabbed the rigging. It took him another few seconds and another call from Dick to get him into the rigging. It was hard to keep one's balance and even harder when one was not moving speedily. It was rather difficult to hold onto the rope end but Jim was slowly making his way up, careful not to look down. 

He had only made it about the height of a full grown man up when he accidentally glanced down and as a result wobbled dangerously. He cried out and Johnson, who's attention he already had, called his name loudly. Jim had no opportunity to reply. In a sudden sway he was turned around, hanging from the rigging and desperately clinging to it. He let out a shrill scream he would have been mortified over any other day and this masked the fact that not only the rope fells to the deck. 

Jim held on to the ropes and hyperventilated. They shook violently as Dick made his way down to him in a hurry and grabbed him to pull him up and the right way around. He clung onto the young man as they both descended. It was only when Dick sat him down on the deck that it struck Jim that everyone on deck were completely silent. Some were looking to the captain, some to Jim and some to something Jim had yet to notice but noticed he would. 

"Hawkins!" Roared the captain suddenly when it was clear that Jim was safely down again. The boy jumped, still in shock from his near-fall but clearly that was not enough of a reaction because captain Smollett marched towards him with a stern and icy expression. The captain stopped not far from Jim and Dick. The crew was still quiet and followed his every one as the captain bent down and grabbed a knife which had wedged itself between the boards. The leather sheath lay not far from it and as Smollett straightened, Jim recognized the white bone handle. The captain said nothing as he placed the leather back on the blade but then he took the last few steps towards Jim.

"Hawkins," he said once again though in a much lower and much more ominous voice. He came to a halt and made a stiff gesture with the knife which looked rather looked rather worn in the man's hand. 

"A concealed weapon," he continued in a strained voice as if making a point of not raising his voice. But when Jim, who by this might as well have been mute and carved from stone, said nothing, he spoke again: "I take it this belongs to you, boy?"

At that Jim finally managed to break the uncomfortable eye contact for he nodded and in doing so found an interesting study in his own shoes. That was a mistake for in the next moment Captain Smollett had him by the ear and dragged him towards the opening leading below, all the while shouting at the hands to get back to work and ignoring the struggling boy.


	4. Upon my word, Captain!

Jim, being much too surprised to object, could do nothing but whimper as he was dragged along. A short moment of relief came when the captain released him, only to steer him down below with a hand on his back. Jim clung to the railing as he went down the narrow stair - that was really only just short of a ladder, fearful that he might otherwise slip and considering how sore his ear was he was convinced the much disliked captain would let him break his neck if Jim took a tumble. 

Of course Jim had nothing to support his convictions nor did he get any incentive to alter his opinion of Captain Smollett for no sooner had they descended from the stairs before the captain had hold of Jim's poor ear again. From the moment they were out of the crew's sight Captain Smollett had been silent but to Jim that only served to make the situation more ominous. There was some small commotion on the deck they left behind but it went unnoticed by Jim. It was not much of a distance covered before they entered the captain's office which had so far also doubled as a sitting room for the gentlemen. Jim was once again released and left standing in the middle of the room while the captain shut the door. 

The man paused for a moment while facing the door and Jim gasped, rubbed his ear and tried his darnedest to gather his courage and appear much less frightened than he was. Captain Smollett spun around with an almost mechanical swiftness. His features seemed hardened and, although he appeared perfectly calm, displeasure seemed to radiate off him. 

"So, Mr Hawkins," he began rather coldly.

"Captain, sir! I swear I..." Gasped Jim, but was cut off by a gesture of the captain's.

"I assumed I made it perfectly clear from the start that I would be keeping no favorites aboard my ship," the captain continued as he stepped over and placed the knife on top of the various sea-charts that littered the table. 

"Carrying concealed non-essential weaponry," he continued. "By rights I should make an example of you." 

He spoke so coldly that Jim could not help but give a start and sniff at his words for reasoning with Smollett seemed as good a breaking rock with a paintbrush. 

"Well, then?" Demanded the captain. "Anything to say for yourself, Hawkins, or are you good enough not to waste my time with excuses?"

Jim's mind was completely blank. What could he possibly say? The captain had seen the knife fall from his shirt just as at least ten other men had. What could he say without implicating his friend?

The captain let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a huff which Jim had heard often enough since their leaving Bristol. He seemed to be weighing his words carefully and Jim knew in his heart that he was about to pronounce some manner of sentence. The boy watched with wide eyes like a deer waiting for a predator to make its move. But whatever Smollett would have said he did not get to pronounce that verdict for at that moment there was noise outside the door of footsteps and muffled voices which at once diverted the attention of the both of them.

In the next moment the door flew open and Dr Livesey rushed into the room, with Hunter stopping just in the door and the squire brushing past Hunter to enter. Jim at once understood that Hunter, who was still watching from the door, had seen it all and had run to fetch the gentlemen. The doctor looked agitated but he said not a word and instead looked around the room from Captain Smollett to Jim and when he set his eyes on the ship's boy, his countenance changed and he seemed to compose himself. It was the squire who spoke first.

"Sir, what is the manner of this?!" He demanded, his temper was clearly roused though Jim got the feeling he was not truly aware of the situation and that it was rather his dislike of the captain fueling his outburst.

Captain Smollett for his part did not so much as start and simply watched the other men with all the appearance of calm even though Jim felt certain he was anything but.

"Well?!" Cried the squire. 

Dr Livesey turned to Hunter instead and nodded to the man, who then closed the door, presumably remaining on the other side, insuring they were not interrupted. The squire alone seemed to possess all the willingness to speak as the rest, Jim himself included, were unwilling to speak first.

"Gentlemen," said then the captain just as the squire opened his mouth to speak again. "As this is a straight forward matter, as I see it, I will be brief and plain." 

"And better you were!" Said the squire, his face flushed with anger at the captain's apparent disinterest in his displeasure.

"My friend," said the doctor evenly, speaking for the first time. "Let us hear Captain Smollett."

And with all eyes fixed upon him the captain continued: "He was discovered to be carrying a concealed blade, gentlemen," said the captain and held up the knife in question. The squire seemed to start for a moment which confirmed that he had in fact not caught what this whole affair was about. Dr Livesey, however, seemed to silently study the blade for a moment before glancing over at Jim with so little visible emotion that Jim couldn't bear to look him in the eye.

"And as you will hear me, I'll say this," continued the captain, allowing Mr Trelawney to take the knife from him. "This boy here has no business with a weapon, let alone a concealed one and this here is no ordinary sailor's knife. As captain of this vessel I must take action and as I see it interference is not warranted."

"But," spluttered Trelawney. "This is unheard of! Hawkins is an honest boy! I consider this gross ungentlemanly behavior!"

"And were it any of the men you would not be so forgiving had you any sense sir!" Replied Smollett. He was now completely focused on the squire. 

"You accuse me of favoritism then?!" Cried the squire. 

The captain then made it very clear that he had in fact said no such thing though it was not lost on the squire, nor anyone in the room, that even if he had not said it, he had meant it. And while these two men continued their row Jim struggled to keep down his lunch. He felt as though there was a block of ice in his chest and sea monster in his stomach. He was more frightened than he'd dare admit to himself and terribly ashamed that he was the cause of the row. He could feel tears coming and sniffed involuntarily. But Jim would be damned if he let them see him cry and so he quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He looked up again to see whether anyone had noticed. The squire and the captain argued still and paid him no mind but Jim froze as he found the doctor watching him closely.

He looked neither cross not comforting. Instead he seemed almost saddened yet composed and Jim found he would have much preferred anger to that even if that too was daunting - having never seen the doctor truly angry. Still, Jim couldn't help feel like the most wretched creature on earth when Livesey looked at him in that manner. The doctor ignored the other men and took a deep breath before he spoke in a calm, lowered voice that even so attracted the attention of the others who were debating whether following the disciplinary hierarchy onboard ships was indeed, as Trelawney put it, 'unenglish'.

"Jim," said Dr Livesey and stepped closer. "Does that belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," replied Jim in a small voice.

"There!" Exclaimed the captain.

"I have never known you to carry any such thing, Jim," continued the doctor unaffected. "Was this given to you?"

Jim gulped and tried his best to seem confused by the question while he tried as hard as he could to come up with an explanation. He would not snitch on Long John. How could he when the old sailor had been so kind and helped him so much?

"I..." He began. Jim eyes darted from person to person.

"Well? Out with it boy!" Cried the squire. The doctor had lightly folded his arms with impatience and the captain as usual was not easily read.

"Yes, sir," said Jim. "That is to say... I was... It belonged to Mr Arrow." The lie tasted bitter on his tongue and Jim immediately regretted having said it the moment he did but he could think of nothing else to say that would not be telling on Long John.

"Ha! The scoundrel!" Said Trelawney. "And I dare say poor Hawkins could have no reason to doubt the intentions of the mate as he should have known the rules better than most!"

However, Jim did not see the same willingness to believe in his explanation in the other men. But if Captain Smollett thought him a liar he did not voice it.

"Regardless of where he acquired it - he was still concealing it," the captain correctly pointed out. This earned another 'ha' from the squire. 

"Jim," said the doctor and the boy looked to him. The look in his eyes and the manner in which his lips where pressed together tightly when he did not speak made it clear as day the doctor was disappointed with the answer and did not believe a word Jim had said. Jim could not have felt worse about it if someone had poured ice water over him then and there. 

"You go straight to the surgery. Your presence is not needed here."

"Now, doctor! I object. He will not leave before he and this matter has been dealt with!" Interjected Captain Smollett.

"Well, it shall be dealt with neither on the your terms nor with your methods," snapped the doctor in a manner which seemed to surprise everyone in the room. 

"Now, young man - be off with you," he continued with regained calmness, addressing Jim. The men remained silent as the boy made his way to the door. The captain and squire watched him while the doctor in turn watched the captain. Hunter was on the other side of the door as Jim had assumed and closed the door behind him.

"Jim!" Said a voice from the other end of the narrow hallway and while Jim recognized it as the voice of the cook, he did not respond and instead ran to the surgery, found the door open and slammed it behind him.

* * *

Dr Livesey's hands were trembling and he noted to himself that he had better have some brandy before he did anything else. It was especially upsetting to him for the captain, quite rightly, pointed out that it had been Livesey and the squire's intention from the start to make Jim Hawkins a ship's boy in little more than name, only fulfilling duties to the extent that it would divert him. But if it were not for Jim there would never have been a voyage at all.

"Then that is all?" the captain had said coldly.

Trelawney had retired to a chair with a glass of wine and Livesey was not surprised for even though he managed it so well, having such a temper as his had to be tiring. 

"You have my word," replied the doctor. "That should suffice." 

"Huh!" Exclaimed the squire but not in doubt of his friend, only disapproval of the captain's insistence.

"Of course," replied Captain Smollett. 

Livesey knew he meant well and could not hold his objections against him. He understood that the captain would not want to be seen letting Jim get away with an infraction which he would have reprimanded any other member of the crew for - partly because it caused animosity between the captain and crew and partly because Smollett's sense of duty went against it. The doctor respected this but could not allow it as he knew they risked every bit of displeasure the captain felt for Trelawney and Mr Arrow coming Jim's way.

He had left the room and the two old lions to sneer at each other - after sending Hunter in after the storage key of course. The floor was moving slightly as there was good wind today and the ship creaked all around him as he made his way to the surgery. It was somewhat comforting though it had kept Livesey up during the first nights. He opened the door to the small surgery and found Jim sitting in the chair there with his head buried in his hands. The boy looked up immediately, alerted by the sound of the door opening. He looked both surprised and relieved to see only the doctor there. His eyes were red and his cheeks tear stained. Jim looked perfectly miserable - as well he should, thought the doctor with a solemn resignation.

"Doctor!" Exclaimed Jim and jumped to a standing position but Livesey held up a hand to signal him to silence.

"Here doctor," said Hunter as he appeared in the door behind Livesey with a glass of brandy and a quick glance in Jim's direction. 

"Thank you, my good man," replied Livesey as he took the glass. Hunter closed the door and Livesey walked to the chair Jim had just occupied and took a seat. The surgery was the only room which smelled vaguely of home to him. Everywhere the smell of salt and sea was with them. Only the strong scents of the various medicinal remedies stored here could overpower it a little. Even their clothes began to smell less perfumed and more like seaweed and sun. The doctor rubbed his temple before taking a sip. They were silent like that for a moment while the doctor calmed his nerves.

"Well then, Jim" said he. "This is quite the predicament and it was poorly done, Jim, poorly done indeed."

"Doctor! I never meant for this to happen! I didn't realize," squeaked Jim. 

"I am certain you did not," replied Livesey. "And I should have had a much easier time defending you had you not lied to me." 

At that he gave the cabin boy a pointed look and Jim's eyes widened in a manner which only confirmed what he already knew. He took another sip from his glass before placing it on the table which was a foolish thing to do in harsh weather but only moderately risky as it were. 

"Yes," said Livesey sternly confirming once again that he did indeed know. "The captain needs to be aware of the weaponry and tools onboard. Had you purchased that in Bristol and gone aboard without knowingly committing an infraction - that was a different matter. But I dare say you knew."

"Yes, sir," replied the boy sadly.

"And have you something you wish to tell me now?" inquired the gentleman.

The boy paused. He was evidently struggling with his own conscience and terribly uneasy. Livesey did feel for him. It was too hard not to when Jim looked so distressed. But he schooled his own expression for it would not do. Seconds passed and still the boy had said nothing. In truth, he cared little for where the knife had come from. He would never suspect Jim of having stolen it after all. It mattered that the boy was being dishonest. Jim looked to his shoes, biting his lip and clenching his fists.

"This is all very disappointing, Jim," said Dr Livesey. "I have never known you to be a dishonest lad and I am not best pleased to see it now."

At that the young boy could no longer compose himself. Jim sniffed loudly and fresh tears shone in his eyes. Before Livesey could say another word a whimper sounded from the boy and he fully broke down in tears, no longer able to put up the mere pretense of a brave front. 

"Forgive me, sir," he choked out. "I didn't..."

But he needed not say another word for at the mere sight of him the doctor felt a sharp pain of sympathy for the child and rose from his seat.

"Come now, Jim. Surely there is no reason to carry on so," he said, resisting the urge to immediately assure the boy that all was well. He reached out for the ship's boy and placed a hand on his shoulder but Jim in turn responded to that by grabbing his upper arm and burying his face in Livesey's sleeve. This surprised the doctor. He had to admit that even he who knew Jim so well compared to the rest of the men aboard had up until now not truly recognized that Jim was just a child. A child, at that, who had recently lost his father and who was so far from his mother. 

He folded the arm Jim already clung to around his shoulders and placed his other hand on Jim's shoulder in an effort to comfort him that was still far enough from an embrace to spare the boy's pride when he composed himself. Jim was trembling and it was no wonder. 'Had he been too harsh?' - Livesey wondered. Despite having none of his own he was used to children, ill and fragile as they often where when he met with them but it was now an all together different situation which Livesey found himself completely unprepared for.

"There, there, my friend," he said calmly patting the cabin boy's shoulder with his left hand. 

"None of this now. If a scolding has such an effect on you, I dare say you should be glad the captain did not have his way or you should be answering to him," he continued, thinking it was unlikely that Jim should not have noticed Smollett coming down harder on him and he added in almost a whisper: "What could have possessed you to provoke him?"

Jim seemed to regain awareness of his surroundings, where he was, what he was doing - and to whom, for he immediately released the doctor and began rubbing at his face furiously even though it was a pointless enterprise considering the steady flow of tears. Dr Livesey glanced with disapproval at the sleeve of his frock coat which was a great deal moister now but he said nothing of it.

"I... I really am sorry, Dr Livesey," said Jim. "I just needed it for..."

"Yes?" urged the doctor. 

The boy paused wiping his nose on his sleeve. "You'll say I am a fool, sir."

But Livesey did not respond to that as he considered the whole business with the knife foolish enough as was and instead he silently fetched Jim a handkerchief from his pocket. His silence did not deter the boy who looked up at him, accepting the handkerchief.

"I have had these... These night-terrors and I... Felt safer," said Jim.

"Why, Jim!" Exclaimed the doctor. "A fool indeed! Why would you not come to me? And then this whole business could have been avoided! I must insist you tell me about these dreams of yours and I dare say I shall be able to help."

Hints of a smile appeared on the boy's face and from the sadness of it, Livesey understood that Jim was embarrassed about it. Livesey felt somehow responsible and silently reprimanded himself for not having inquired about Jim's health and wellbeing since they set to sea. He placed his hands on Jim's shoulders and bent slightly forward in an effort to be closer to eye-level with the child. 

"Dry your eyes, lad," he said. "I promised the captain I would chastise you in his place and from the looks of you every man aboard will think I have mistreated you cruelly."

The smile on Jim's decade spread until his tears ceased and he let out a short giggle through the last of them. Dr Livesey in his turn smiled warmly at the boy.

"Now then what am I to do with you? I shall have to think of something. You come to me before you retire tonight and I will see what I can do let you rest easy. I will be plain, Jim, I had much preferred you were honest with me from the start and finish you will have to prove yourself. You go about your business and be on your best behavior. It is I who have vouched for you and it is I who will have to answer to the captain should this happen again. I shall keep a jolly close eye on you, young man!"

"Thank you, sir! Oh, I mean, sorry sir!" Piped Jim in response, clearly too relieved to care.

The doctor nodded and retrieved the handkerchief from the cabin boy, only to abandon it on the table. That and his coat would need a wash, he noted. But all in all he felt better, now that he saw Jim's nature was just as it had always been. He was glad of it for had the boy shown no signs of remorse he would not have known what to do as he could not find it within himself keep up the air of a disciplinarian. 

"Very good then, Mr Hawkins," he replied with mock-formality. "Then you may go, but I shall expect you back after supper."

The boy left the surgery with a sincere 'yes, sir'. Livesey removed his coat and sat down in his chair with a sigh. He took off his wig and placed it gently on the table before deciding he had better finish the brandy if he was to settle his nerves before evening.


	5. Where we stand.

In the days that followed Jim was certainly not given the chance to forget the incident. He had not made it halfway to the stairs before he had been ushered into the galley by Long John to escape the eyes of those sailors who had gone below to spectate. There he had to assure the man he was alright and tell him what had happened. Jim told as little as he could as the whole ordeal had been rather shameful to him but told Silver he had been true to his word and never mentioned him. 

"Of course not, matey! I never doubted ye for a moment, I didn't!" Long John had said and ruffled his hair. 

As he didn't seem very concerned with the loss of the knife, Jim concluded with a great deal of joy that his wellbeing had been priority to the loss of Silver's memento. He was grateful for his friend as in the days that followed he was subjected to teasing comments from several among the crew. Although he was embarrassed about it Jim found he was lucky that several hands had seen him in tears for not a single one among them complained that the captain had not thrown him overboard yet - granted, Jim was not entirely sure what was in fact the custom in these situations. 

This was helped by the doctor trying his best to look cross whenever he called for Jim despite not being able to keep this pretense up when out of sight. Yet despite his friendly demeanor and the way in which he acted towards Jim as though nothing had occurred, Jim knew perfectly well that all was not entirely forgotten. He was called upon more often and he regularly found the doctor watching him when he worked on the deck from time to time but even so it did not truly bother Jim as he never felt that anyone but the captain was still cross with him.

"Jim, be a good lad and pass me the sugar."

That very same boy started and awoke from his daydream. He blinked profusely to return to his surroundings. An impatient tapping of a finger upon wood demanded his attention and Jim looked to the doctor who was standing by the table. They were in the surgery as by now was the afternoon custom and as there had been nothing to do for several days Dr Livesey had had hot water and tea things brought in for them. 

"Oh! Yes, sir!" Replied Jim and jumped out of the only chair there to move the small sugar bowl. He had seemingly found the activity of waiting for tea to brew less engaging that the doctor for he had been entirely lost in thought.

"Something on your mind, my friend?" Inquired the doctor as he poured the tea. "You are not still troubled by those dreams, I trust?"

"Why, no doctor," replied Jim and accepted a cup with a spoonful of sugar. The doctor himself left his unsweetened. The evening of the incident he had had to face the doctor again but although he dreaded it - the awkwardness of how he had clung to the man becoming clear to him later on, he found it was not all too difficult to tell the doctor. He had been given something bitter he couldn't pronounce 'for his nerves' and whether it was that or simply the effect of having a sympathetic ear to hear him, Jim slept soundly that night and every night since. 

"Yet, something is on your mind," commented Dr Livesey, pausing to take a trying sip from his - as yet, quite hot tea. "Or perhaps nothing at all."

"Huh?" Replied Jim who had once again been lost in thoughts he could no longer recall.

"As I thought," said the doctor and smiled to himself, setting the teacup down to cool a little while longer. "It is not good for a young mind to be idle."

Jim had to own he was indeed bored but it was a boredom of impatience. There was certainly enough to do on the Hispaniola and these times of idleness in the doctor's company should be welcomed but Jim found his mind repeatedly wandering to fantasies of the island they were sailing for and he was so impatient to see it on the horizon that the time spent doing his duties here became long and agonizing. 

"Surely we must be there soon!" Said he.

"So says the captain and we may rely upon him for accuracy - but Jim, you will have plenty of time there to explore so I suggest you try to enjoy the journey."

However even Jim could tell by Dr Livesey's voice that he was every bit as exited and impatient as Jim to get there only he seemed to manage it better. The coolness of the room was rather pleasant considering the sun above and made the hot beverage much more welcome. Jim had never been excessively fond of tea mainly because his father did not enjoy it but he found it was quite pleasant with the sugar added.

"Doctor," said Jim quietly as a thought occurred to him.

"Hmm? What that, my boy?" Said the doctor, mostly into his tea.

"Have you been on a ship before?" Jim inquired. 

Dr Livesey seemed to think for moment. 

"Indeed I have," he finally replied. "Though not in a way that is likely to excite you." He smiled as if about to chuckle though he did not do so. 

Jim tilted his head. He was not entirely sure why he had asked. The mystery and character which the long voyages to far away places had lent to Silver was part of what had endeared him to Jim and he found that though he could not imagine the doctor having ever gone further than London, he had wanted another truth.

"I was on the continent near Tournai as a man in red several years back. I was quite young then and we were sailors none of us. Rather we were transported."

Jim sighed a little more audibly than he had wanted to. Mainland Europe did not sound so very exotic and exciting to him. Oddly enough he did not envision the doctor on a battlefield but rather the doctor just as he was strolling around some town looking rather like Bristol. 

"This shall be nothing like that of course and I see - yes I see, lad, that you do not find it a pleasing tale to embark upon. Whether I approve I do not know. I shall always admire any boy who dreams of serving his country though I will own that I should take a dim view of any who dream of battle and death for the sake of the same. As it is, say I, we have no use for fantasy none of us when we have our own adventure to complete."

Jim nodded though half heartedly. He had not been two weeks into his first journey before he found he wanted more. Jim wished to see every place Long John had spoken of. How could one simply settle down like the doctor and the squire had when there was such a world out there?

* * *

"May love and wine their rights maintain!" Howled a sandy-haired hand a beat too early as the crew reached the final verse. The rest had caught up with him by the end of 'and their united pleasures reign!'. Spirits were high as grog had been served out for the crew - the squire having heard it was Tim Carlisle's birthday. Jim had no idea who the fellow was but it hardly mattered. Long John was singing as loudly as the best of them and spirits had lifted to Christmas standing by the time the final chorus rang out:

"And they who won't with us comply, down among the dead men, down among the dead men, down among the dead men let them lie!"

Jim had heard this song before at the old Admiral Benbow and he joined in as best he could though the order of the verses had been mixed up several times by the sailors. 

"Ah, young Hawkins this is as jolly a gathering as a voyage should have," said Mr Trelawney and patted the boy's shoulder. He too, had joined in. Only the doctor and the captain seemed not to be in mood for singing. The captain gave no explanation but the doctor had stated rather disapprovingly to the squire that he did not care for drinking songs and certainly not those who encouraged drinking oneself out of one's wits. Jim knew they were getting close to their destination and it fueled his excitement. The crew too were aware of this and the deck watch was now looking out for land when there was not a celebration to be had.

"Begging yer pardon, sir, that is just what I should have said," said Long John in reply to the squire. 

"Silver, my man," replied the squire. "You know the truth of it."

Long John seemed to often be in agreement with the squire and that in turn made him a favorite there. According to Jim that was as should be. He was quite fond of the squire not only because he understood Long John's expertise but also because he had been the person defending Jim the most after the knife incident and had never had a cross word for him afterwards.

The good mood continued throughout the day. By the time dinner was over Jim was off duty and free to wander around as he pleased. The Hispaniola sailed steadily with a calm about her. The voices of merry hands could be heard below. The gentlemen had long since retired to the captain's 'office' for conversation as they did most nights. By sundown, Jim was sitting on his sailor's chest below listening to the men who were exchanging stories that would make their mothers blush. This continued well into the night and past midnight.

He was getting terribly tired but refused to sleep at such a moment as this or he might miss it when land was spotted. Jim rubbed his eyes. It occurred to him then that he should like an apple. Whether there would be much left in the apple barrel by now remained to be seen. None the less he made his way up on deck where there was almost no sound as the men on watch were all on the look out for land. 

As he had suspected there was hardly an apple left and Jim had to hoist himself up and jump into the barrel in order to reach any. He had found himself a good apple and even taken a bite but his fatigue overwhelmed him and Jim remained in the barrel for some moments, almost dozing off, before the barrel shook wildly as someone sat against it and began to speak. Jim was just about to announce himself when the words of a recognizable voice caused him to freeze.

* * *

Jim felt like his insides were about to escape by way of his throat. He could barely even look interested as all hands ran across the deck. The cry of 'land ahead' had been sounded and there was not a man on the Hispaniola not currently rushing forward. The sun was not yet over the horizon but pale light crept up from the edge of the world and outlined the misty contours of the island. They all cheered and spirits were high - none of them seemed inclined to sleep now that they had seen it. 

Mr Trelawney came on deck and with the brightest of smiles shook the doctor's hand as they congratulated each other on reaching their destination. As all this went on the sun rose steadily and Jim became more and more desperate. None of the gentlemen had gone to bed for they were all dressed as they had been the previous evening and the doctor and squire looked very excited. Captain Smollett was not entirely immune to the cheery mood either and although he maintained his disciplined countenance Jim could see he too was glad to see land. Jim trembled to think that they could all be as blind as he had been and the magnitude of the danger they were in overwhelmed him so completely that he did not see Silver coming before he had placed a hand on his shoulder and begun speaking to him in the friendliest manner. 

It was all Jim could do to smile as his false friend amicably spoke of the manner of adventures and amusement a boy such as Jim could find on such an island. He could not think of a single thing to say in reply and so it was fortunate that Long John had no problem carrying the conversation entirely on his own. Luckily for Jim, it was not long before Long John was called over by some of the hands and Jim had a chance to think. He reasoned that he should speak to one of the gentlemen as soon as possible but needed a proper excuse as he could hardly say much on deck without arousing suspicion. 

"Jim, my boy," called the doctor suddenly and waved him over enthusiastically as he approached.

And he needed not be told twice. The cabin boy hurried over as fast as his legs would carry him though whether it came across as uncharacteristic eagerness to run errands or a desire to be done with it as speedily as could be he did not know. 

"I left my pipe below, Jim, could you.."

"Doctor!" Jim interrupted. And he explained as quickly as he could what he required. The doctor loudly thanked him as if having asked him a question before returning to the other gentlemen where from he had come. Suddenly Jim felt himself tremble as if he had already revealed himself though the mutineers could not possibly know of the danger he posed to them. The captain called an assembly and announced that they had reached their destination and that in celebration of their efforts drink was to served out to all hands while the gentlemen would drink their health below. For moment the thought entered Jim's mind that the doctor might not have understood him for it was a little while before Joyce came to fetch him. All hands were cheering and celebrating so genuinely that Jim shuddered to think any of them were out for blood. 

He was lead into the cabin and below to the 'sitting room'. Lamps were burning and illuminated the scene before him. The heat they gave off revealed they had been burning throughout the night. The doctor had taken off his wig in visible agitation over the mystery of it all and was running him fingers through his black hair repeatedly. The squire seem to pace a few steps every few seconds or so and looked quite vexed by the whole thing while the captain, ever the mystery, simply watched Jim closely from the moment he entered. 

"Doctor!" Jim gasped the moment the door was closed behind him. "Captain! Mr Trelawney! I have dreadful news!"

"Breathe boy and see you don't keel over before you're done," replied the captain. 

Jim fidgeted and hardly knew what to do with himself. He felt ashamed for even though he had not known he felt he should have for it was he who knew the danger of one-legged seamen and had said nothing, even trusted Long John. It was he who was the closest to them and he who had called the ringleader his friend. 

"Sir! I was in the apple barrel earlier and I... I heard... They mean to kill you all! He said... He said he'd kill the squire himself and I didn't know.... I swear I didn't!" 

By now he certainly had their attention though it was clear that he made little sense to them and a gesture from the squire to slow down confirmed this. And so, Jim took a deep breath before he continued:

"The pirates, they are here! And they mean to take the ship! I heard L... - Mr Silver say so himself from within the apple barrel! And Mr Hands and Mr Johnson are in on it! And several of the others as well! Many of them likely for they said they could not get any more men to join." 

So he continued, relating all that he had heard from within the barrel. By the time Jim was at the end of his explanation his voice had gone shrill and a look of realization and concern had appeared on the mens' faces.

"Hawkins, sit down lad!" Said then the squire and the others joined in urging Jim to be seated and once he was, the squire poured him a smaller glass of red wine while the doctor filled his hands with raisins. Then they all, one by one and solemnly too, drank Jim's health. But sweets and wine were hardly as appetizing to him now as they should have otherwise been and Jim merely tryingly sipped a little wine while the gentlemen began their counsel. If Jim had been unaffected by the situation he might have been amused by the change which had occurred in the gentlemen for the squire was all politeness and sincere reverence towards the captain, the doctor was all astonishment that Silver was indeed a fiend and the captain in turn was trying his best to comprehend why he had not been able to see it coming. Eventually they did agree on a course of action: To do as little as possible until they knew how many men they could rely upon.

"There it is and there it will remain until we know our men. It is not a pleasant prospect, that I know gentlemen. It would be pleasanter to come to blows," said Captain Smollett. 

"For now we must arm those we can rely upon as inconspicuously as it may be done in case we must act quickly."

"By George, I have half a mind to blow the ship up and be done with these odious scoundrels!" Cried Mr Trelawney. His face slowly regained some color through his anger with both himself and the mutineers.

"Here boy!" Called the Captain to Jim who was still sitting there with a very warm and mushy handful of raisins. "You have done your duty by us all and it may save us yet. In light of this, we may as well return this."

As he spoke he opened a drawer and pulled out the bone-handled knife. Jim, who had so far been too distraught to do anything but sit there in silence, inhaled sharply at the sight of it. Smollett held it towards him, clearly meaning to return it so that Jim would be armed.

"Oh," replied the ship's boy as he placed the raisins on the table cloth. "Sir, I couldn't... I would rather not that is." 

He could not hide a slight tremble in his voice as he spoke because he could not look upon that cursed trinket without feeling a terrible guilt for having never told where or whom he had gotten the knife from. The Captain regarded him with a peculiar look in his eyes as he was puzzled by this answer.

"Then it had better be thrown overboard," said the doctor in a clear voice, rising to put his wig back in place.

"Jim, shan't miss it," he continued and then added after a moment's pause: "And neither will Silver, I should think."

"That's as may be," said the captain with little to no emotion and placed the knife on the table.

"Insufferable fiends!" Said the squire, still much too shocked to pay attention but Jim silently wished the sea would swallow him whole then and there. He dared not look to Dr Livesey for he feared it would only confirm what the doctor had already suggested.

"Well, we will have to show above before too long," noted Captain Smollett. "Or they will suspect something is up." 

And so they all stood up and got ready to go up upon the deck. Jim doubted whether he could go about his usual business with the ease and steadiness the captain seemed capable of but their lives depended on it, that he understood. He was brought to a halt at the door just as he was meaning to follow the captain by a hand on his arm.

"That was well done lad," repeated the doctor with a kind smile as Jim instinctively turned to face him. "It will do none of us any good to dwell upon our oversights now. We owe our lives to you, my friend, and that is all I will say."

Then he nodded as if agreeing with his own statement and patted Jim's arm once before he left the room to follow the others. Jim followed after a moment's pause with a lighter heart and a great deal more nerve.


	6. The missing third.

It had proven a difficult task to steer the Hispaniola safely into the anchorage. Not due to the environment - for Silver, who knew the place best, guided them in. Rather it was because the crew had become so discontented after spotting the island that there was not a man in the known faithful party that was not carefully considering their every move for fear of either discovery or causing provocation. 

Dr Livesey had helped where he dared and could be useful but he and the squire both had been advised by the captain to stay below whenever possible. It was to make it easier for Silver to ease the tension among the men. Silver, it seemed, was trying his very best at singlehandedly keeping up the pretense of a merry crew. This meant that Livesey and Trelawney relied primarily on Jim Hawkins and Trelawney's servants to follow the development of the situation - for although Captain Smollett understood best what was happening among the hands, he too could not be long on deck before his presence would worsen the situation. 

The doctor was rather tense but managed to remain seated below while his friend the squire paced and seemed unable to settle himself. Livesey did not worry about him. His friend might have loose lips and an expressive personality but he understood the danger as well as any of them and did not appear any different in front of the crew. But here, as they were alone he dared mutter under his breath. Livesey thought that from time to time he had even heard a few words the squire should never admit to having used.

"That's the last of it," said the captain as he walked in closely followed by young Jim. "If I issue one more order even Silver can't keep them at bay - though he would if he could and I propose to give him the chance. I'll allow the men a day ashore." 

"Will they go?" Inquired the squire.

Meanwhile the doctor had been watching the boy who looked both tired and dejected. He silently promised himself to speak to Jim later. This was not a pleasant situation for any of them but who knew how the boy was taking it. He did feel rather guilty for having brought Jim along now should the worst come to pass but in the pragmatist spirit of war he ignored these emotions in favor of listening to Smollett.

"It is my belief they will," said the captain. 

The doctor agreed. There was no telling when the men would strike but if they were half as greedy and impatient as their sudden mood changes seemed to suggest they should be rid of the lot of them within ten minutes should the men be given the opportunity to leave and begin their search. The room was dim as no lamps were lit. The sun was intense above and so, although it was cooler below, the gentlemen had decided not to waste the oil on heating their own personal hell. So a plan was made to wait and see how many would go. If they all went they should take the chance and escape with the ship but no one was so entirely optimistic as to count upon it. The worst thing in Livesey's opinion was the powerlessness of having to wait and depend upon Silver's actions. The smell of sea, salt and tar around him made him dizzy now and he wished himself miles and miles away to his comfortable sitting room at home.

"I shall deliver them their good news," said Captain Smollett with contempt for the recipients dripping from every syllable. "I do not think I can give another order, should I not do so."

The doctor murmured his agreement and blinked in the dim light. He should have a word with Jim before the chance passed him by but he found to his surprise that the boy was nowhere to be seen. He had most likely been ordered away at some point by the captain while Livesey had been lost in his own thoughts. He rose from his chair and made to follow the captain out the door. It was after all not as dangerous to appear when good news were given to the men. He paused, feeling eyes upon him.

"Old friend," said Trelawney, when the doctor turned to face him. He closed his mouth as if having reconsidered his words and then spoke again a moment later. "I am at once both horrified and delighted that you are beside me in this predicament."

Livesey smiled faintly with a grimace of fatigue. "We have all gone by choice and now, my dear friend, I dare say we own the consequences. Let us put our faith in Smollett," replied the doctor in his usual mild manner. He knew his friend had a heavy conscience. So did he. The tall man nodded at Livesey's comment. He had seen many things but this situation was new to him. To Livesey it was not unlike what he had felt in the army - there it had been a defeat for him and his countrymen. He was determined this should not be one. With a nod the squire proceeded past Livesey and, following Trelawney, the doctor left to go up upon deck.

The news were well received to say the least and this surprised no one in the faithful party. However with the enthusiasm so clearly emanating from every man it was clear that were there any loyal men left unknown to them, they were not likely to discover them easily - nor were these men likely to remain behind on the ship. The doctor carried his hat in his hand and fanned himself with it. The wind, he thought, seemed to have gone. If it remained so it would likely be bad news for their party if they were to gain possession of the ship. With any luck the breeze would return not only for the sake of their escape but, he noted, also for the sake of their wellbeing. The men and Smollett did seem unaffected by the heat so far but he and his friend should both have preferred a chair in shade.

Following the announcement there was much noise and bustling as the men joyously prepared to go ashore. Jim had initially been with Silver as he had been asked to appear as if he was still fond of the man but before long the boy eeled his way through the men and stood at Dr Livesey's side. The doctor did not blame him. The captain walked to the squire's side and Livesey heard him grumble to Trelawney that 'the weather seemed overly suitable for a day ashore'. The doctor, understanding his meaning, watched the boats being prepared to go into the water with a sigh. The first boat began to be lowered down. 'Well,' thought he. He had best give a discreet warning to Jim now as it seemed their initial plan would not work without wind and they would have to prepare for struggle. He looked to his side and opened his mouth to address the boy only to find that he was not there.

"Jim?" He called loudly and then to the others: "Has anyone seen Jim?"

A panic took hold of him as he looked about for the boy.

"Was he not with you, Livesey?" Replied the squire, now also looking about.

But Livesey looked up in time to see Jim over by the second boat, foot on the side of it, about to jump into the other boat as it was lowered.

_"Jim!"_ The doctor cried rather sternly and, if he had to admit it, with a rather excellent impression of the captain. This certainly got the boy's attention for Jim looked up with wide eyes and stumbled backwards in surprise, falling and landing on his behind. The boat was lowered out of reach while Livesey stormed over to the child. He grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him to his feet a little roughly. His heat was racing still and a clammy coldness of panic was slowly washing away. For a fraction of a moment he did not move but then the sound of boots behind him roused him and he schooled his expression as best he could, knowing that his concern might alarm the remaining crew. Of course his display could have left no one in doubt that he had been given a fright.

"How forgetful you are, Jim!" He said in a slightly shaky but jovial tone. It was hard not to look shaken now that the boy had been about to do something sincerely foolish. Never the less he continued in a steadier air, much nearer his usual pleasant tone: "Had you perhaps forgotten I would need your help packing my medical supplies prior to going ashore?"

In truth he did not need assistance. His case was already packed with the essentials though whether they should need more depended on Smollett's plans. Jim did not reply but kept glancing behind the doctor where Livesey had no doubt the captain would be, looking very... Like himself. It was no matter as two of the hands had also taken notice. Being in no mood for providing their entertainment, Livesey released Jim in a delayed reaction and turned to go his friend.

"We will go below shortly, Jim, I will just have a word with Mr Trelawney."

He sighed slightly and momentarily closed his eyes, reaching his destination. He was right to prevent Jim from leaving but he had also overreacted. Hopefully it would not cause further trouble. He did not mind his dear friend seeing him get a hold of himself so long as his back was to the others. Trelawney nodded understandingly to him without saying a word and the doctor sent him a grateful smile in return. His nerves had not been as dependable as he would have liked. He should probably take something for it as there was worse to come.

"Livesey, should you like..." Began his friend when suddenly a cry was heard from the island which caused all those left on the deck to freeze. They all looked to the island. There was nothing to be seen but a few birds flying over the trees. The squire had gone a sickly pale. They stood there in silence for some moments when there sounded another as horrid as the first.

* * *

A myriad of thoughts had clouded his mind. It was not fear. Jim knew true fear. He had felt it when the blind man attacked him and in the apple barrel where he heard of Long John's betrayal. He'd admit he'd been slightly fearful when the captain hauled him off. What he felt now was not that. Jim just felt stupid. He did not really know what he had been thinking. It had just occurred to him that he might go ashore since they likely could not move without wind. 

He had not at all considered how it might look to the doctor, the squire and the captain. Did they think he was going to join the pirates? Jim longed to protest this notion but he could not. All he could do was stand there and silently pray for the deck to swallow him. He felt like everyone's eyes were upon him - even though that was likely only partly true.

The first scream pulled him forcibly out of these thoughts. Jim stumbled backwards a little in shock but was caught by the captain just in time for the second scream. Even he looked pale although Captain Smollett seemed to be the the person least affected by the horror these sounds conveyed. They all remained frozen for a moment - even the hands, whom they already knew to be mutineers, were eerily silent. The captain, who had been holding Jim up by the shoulder, released him and this seemed to trigger the return of movement in everyone. 

"There's one who's new to his work," Jim heard the captain say to the doctor but the rest of what he said seemed to melt into distant sounds as if he heard them through water. At once he realized that he could have been a third scream. He did not know what the captain was talking about and quite frankly, he did not care. The boy staggered closer to the ship's side for it felt to him as if he was about to be sick. 

"Come now, my friend," said a gentle voice behind him. "I think you and the squire both are overcome by seasickness. I shall fetch something for him. Why don't you come along a help me?"

The cabin boy turned slowly. Everything still felt a bit fuzzy but he did not think he was actually ill and judging by the look in the doctor's dark eyes neither did he. "Yes, doctor. Right away," he squeaked and followed him as fast as he could - eager to escape the crushing feeling that overhung all on deck. 

Once they had entered the small surgery Dr Livesey swiftly closed the door before turning to face Jim. "My word, Jim! What on earth could have gotten into you? What could have possessed you do such a thing?" he inquired directly.

"Sir," replied Jim hastily. "I swear I had no idea of betraying you all. It just occurred to me that... - I do understand it myself! Please believe me!"

"I do, my boy, of course I do," the gentleman assured him. "It is a joy to be young and foolish, Jim, but not if it costs you your life." Dr Livesey's voice had the same air of lecturing Jim had so often heard him use with drunkards and patients who were unwilling to follow his advise. Jim couldn't help but feel rather small and stupid when hearing it directed at him. He thought of his mother suddenly, something he had not done for a while. He missed her and then the thought occurred to him that if Long John had his way he should never see her or the old Admiral Benbow ever again.

"Whatever it is you have on your mind, lad, I hope it has done its bit to improve your mind. We have not another moment to lose. The captain and the others will have surrounded those scoundrel still aboard by now. Take this parcel here for me and make haste. We are going ashore!" 

"Ashore?" Cried the boy but Jim didn't have much time to react before he had a parcel - probably containing some sort of medical supply, in his hands. The doctor was swinging his bag over his shoulder before he picked two small vials off of the shelf. He turned to Jim with a gentle expression and held out one.

"Take this, my friend. Quickly now. You're going in the first boat."


End file.
